the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is Oprah even human
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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