It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
