he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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