OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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