Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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