i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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