no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.