Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.

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  (713): my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute. http://tfl.nu/ldey
  Replies (12) Good night (2693) Bad night (718)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...

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  (205): The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country... http://tfl.nu/c11y
  Replies (47) Good night (14112) Bad night (1543)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!

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  (815): You left a skid on my bar stool!!!! (847): Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool! http://tfl.nu/5bzd
  Replies (24) Good night (1082) Bad night (5161)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.

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  (405): Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine. http://tfl.nu/l1h6
  Replies (25) Good night (6792) Bad night (1777)
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  (858): View more from California

  It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.

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  (858): It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain. http://tfl.nu/y8ei
  Replies (16) Good night (7075) Bad night (1054)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.

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  (540): Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh. http://tfl.nu/suhk
  Replies (15) Good night (6092) Bad night (1030)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her

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  (540): hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her http://tfl.nu/8ahn
  Replies (19) Good night (11211) Bad night (1447)
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  (408): View more from California

  his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out

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  (408): his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out http://tfl.nu/n59r
  Replies (10) Good night (993) Bad night (4230)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!

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  (604): Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car! http://tfl.nu/7dcx
  Replies (6) Good night (5019) Bad night (1228)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.

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  (480): We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her. http://tfl.nu/hua5
  Replies (5) Good night (2794) Bad night (633)
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  (805): View more from California

  Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?

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  (805): Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin? http://tfl.nu/mg03
  Replies (7) Good night (645) Bad night (1216)
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  (845): View more from New York

  also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm

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  (845): also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm http://tfl.nu/66ib
  Replies (6) Good night (735) Bad night (1195)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.

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  (313): I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it. http://tfl.nu/dmoy
  Replies (10) Good night (1037) Bad night (452)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke

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  (206): You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke http://tfl.nu/er3q
  Replies (3) Good night (556) Bad night (355)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.

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  (715): When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze. http://tfl.nu/659s
  Replies (3) Good night (674) Bad night (217)

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