Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
and she was petting her beer can
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
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Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
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Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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