I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
