If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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