piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
