Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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