it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
and she was petting her beer can
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
