My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
