I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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