We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
