i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
