god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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