Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
