How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
