Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
