my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
