but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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