I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
