apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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