sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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