You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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