I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
