i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
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the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
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I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first