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Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
and she was petting her beer can
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
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