i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
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Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
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Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once