You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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