I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
