We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
