Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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