In the future we'll all be gay
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
