I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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