office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
