Michael Bay diarrhea
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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