ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
