Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
