i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
