since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
