he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
