she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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