please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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