and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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