We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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