OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
