he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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