I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
