Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
