This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
