The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
