If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
