so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Let's get the cat blown out
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
