I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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