so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
