Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
