You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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