weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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