I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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