AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
