is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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