Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
