Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
